Saturday, June 21, 2014

Looking back on a Year in the Life of an Artist Mama/ Mama Artist

The turning of a year. 

A year and a half ago I began an experience that was completely brand new to me and expanded over the course of three calender days. Nothing in my life had truly prepared me for it or could even compare to it. Once begun there was no way out. It made me feel the most base and animal like I have ever felt but resulted in a uniquely glorious human outcome. I was stripped of all abilities to please, pretend, be in control or be accommodating. It was an experience that was in no way original and yet was uniquely mine. In short, I gave birth to a lively baby boy and in turn gave birth to my journey of being an artist and a mother or, a mother and an artist, or wife, artist, mother, maker- artist, wife, mother, maker, daughter,  - wife, mother, artist, friend, daughter, maker.... and I thought getting married years ago was an identity crisis!
[my worlds coincide as I use the diaper box to ship out etsy book orders at Christmas time]

The move to California this summer has brought many new experiences/challenges as well- primarily returning to a full time job while working to keep the etsy shop going, trying to engage and be patient with my super active toddler and day-dreaming about making art again. As much as I fought the idea years ago, I'm willing to say now that all the parts/interests of me can still exist at once, but can't all be the primary focus at the same time. I'd like to think I could strike a balance between all these identities, but I think it's more productive to think about them more like planets in orbit. My full-time art making season will come around again. In the meantime I'm ever grateful to my husband, Sam, who has stepped in to help with the shop and be the primary parent while I'm away at the office during the day. We are making our way in this new corner of the world together, and that's a good thing, every day.

these days, they pass
this week, will close
this season, it ends

I hope to do them justice
to be present as I'm able
to acknowledge them as unique

to remember what came before
to be open to where I am
to envision what could be next

Happy New Year everyone!

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